ADK1

Hiking up Mt. Phelps on a gorgeous day in late September.

My best friend at my side--in front, behind. Rotating the lead and pondering in silences the trail of fallen red leaves.

Mile 4 we had been warned, is s.t.e.e.p.

straight up to the summit.

we shed a layer, wrapping sleeves around waists and smile.

like a firecracker she’s up the rocks 5 feet ahead

me, stuffing a fist full of nuts “for energy” exclaiming

wait--!

let’s set an intention for this part, the tricky climb--a little extra juice sumumph ya know’ positivibrations and allthatstuff

k, like in yoga

yah sure, like in yoga

how bout...balance?

commitment?

determination? trust?

and just like that, it clicks in place.

“commitment to be and allow our best selves, no matter how hard it seems to get”

a nod and a smile we agree it’s all forward from here;

two twenty-six year old women kids set on aligning with truth

& climbing our way to the   very  very    top.

Publishing the Unpublished and Acknowledging the Parallels :)

Sitting here in the Troy Public Library. Happy and exploring and feeling out my new digs with this exciting feeling of optimism and gratitude. So grateful for what is. Feeling like writing, creating, expressing as a result. Noticed I had a bunch of unpublished posts on here and found a smile in the similarities between last Spring and this one.
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And here comes another day. Another post so far removed yet still exciting to sit down and dedicate time to. These words. Affirmations and memories of all this lovely life and creation and so many lessons learned.

I'm sitting in Joshs' empty house while he's away at work. Feeling freedom and contentedness at being alone in a comfortable space, looking out the window at the always dwindling piles of snow and big lawn of green grass awake and ready for some serious dosages of sunshine. The trees too are swaying ready, their bare branches outstretched seem to be recharging and getting ready to grow some major greenage. I think it's safe to say we're all prepared for a spring Explosion. It's amazing how you can just feel it coming, and know that people are about to get a whole lot happier with some glorious sunshine pouring down on the skin.

I'm sipping a warm Mate and am feeling like a writer again. Wrapped in my man's flannel, hair flying every which way. Where have I been, I wonder? Out. In. Busy. Sleeping. Laughing. Drinking Working Running full speed and Crawling, enjoying going slow on days like today, when there's not a tremendous "to do" or "i really ought to be.." list, or at least it's not sitting on the front of my brain. And I can sit here, in this quiet empty house and make as much music as I want, straight from the heart to an imaginary crowd. I can sip this tea and count my blessings completely content. Or I can be still.

Anywhere USA entry #1 09/07/14

It's funny how the post prior to this is somehow  exactly what we are doing now. "Reclaiming the Wild" On this "roadtrip" that feels as though it could be any moment in time...anywhere in the world. The truth is we're always moving--its just a matter of the speed, direction, and intention of our journey. Make it count, I say. Have fun. Find the better feeling thought no matter how shitty the ego pretends something is. Know the truth.  I know the feelings I want to achieve--the reality that feels best, and that is what I choose to create. All is beauty, for I see the beauty in all.


 I've come to realize if I "feel a shift coming" it very well could be I am  manifesting one into existence. A series of events and lessons, divinely orchestrated to facilitate growth and allow me to realize new levels of understanding. Perhaps my higher self is ready to move on--to grow, stretch, and soar! Or perhaps, more probably, I'm being urged to finally evolve myself to a level more 'on par' with the harmonious peace and limitlessness OF my Higher Self  that has existed within me all along.

This cross country trip is continually providing The Space to Reclaim the Truth. Perpetually exploring and cleansing the insides. Getting right with the mind and finding the loving surrender to the flow that is. Full of Joy and Love and learning the skills to maintain a powerful positive mindset. TRULY  transforming the relationship to ego and developing the ability to stay high vibe and laughing always.I feel as though there's nothing quite like completely switching it up, walking on your hands for a while and seeing the world from a colorful mirage of different angles. It is this shift we seek, and hence this shift is what we shall continue to receive.

Oh the places you shall go

"To leave the luscious hills of New York and to sink into the loving gentleness of Wisconsin--Minnesota with it's celebration of water along so many of these roads. My soul soars over the flat plain expanses of North Dakota and I am filled with the heart bursting relief of a deep breath in a truly open space.

The wind whispers everywhere.

Through "amber grains" and cattails and rippling waves of the bluest blue--it cannot keep it's secrets to itself.

Roots on the Red Music Fest, Bluestem Amphitheater, ND

The sky in her vastness is appreciated daily--forecasted and noted and gawked at. Everyday exists in neck craning beauty and an awe of insurmountable greatness.

With so much adventure still ahead, I'm finding it crucial to hold on and savor the stillness. Not allowing the mind to race ahead when each moment is such a precious gift. There is no need to worry, for all is well in the unfolding of the phases...."

Glendalough State Park, MN

Soul Support for Life

                       

Recovering the Wild

and then i realize...you won't find it in the computer. no satisfaction in the words and images of others' adventures. there is simply no sense in electronically chasing a feeling you can only find on the road...the dusty dirty loving learning Wild Road. These itchy paws are gearing up for something waiting so patiently just around the corner. That crazy beautiful life; a drink and a toast, a barefoot kiss to the sun, I scream out and the universe winks... I'll be seeing you soon, Everything.
   xo km

Catchin' Up to Lady December

So, I've done it again. Fallen off the consistency bloghorse and let it slide for a full two months.  No sense beating myself up I suppose, just gona pick it back up again with enthusiasm and the will to keep on forging forwards. As long as some sort of creation is happening here I'm happy. Some better than none...as they say, or at least I do. That 'get back on' mentality conveniently applies to so many things doesn't it? Keep on working keep trying keep writing keep lovin deep keep on eating right because it feels so darn good to be moving in good directions.

Two months. Round and even, but not gaping. Two months...I can work with that, try and give a quick recap without glossing over too many details. Perhaps it's best to start with the present.

100% Raw Dinner at 50 South in Ballston Spa, NY

Currently happy. All things a go. I feel loved and that I love others dearly. Friends wonderful. Josh wonderful. House and people in it wonderful. Family far away but not distant. Writing not enough but some. Picking up the guitar again. Desire to craft. Eating healthy. Being friendly. Walking lots. Helping out and learning everyday. It's not all ra ra love and sunshine stuff but it's amazing what a little effort and a lot of gratitude can do.

Food is becoming quite the passion, proving to be a pretty major guiding force in my life. It has widened my perspective on the world as a whole and the way we interact with it, inside of it, as a part of it. I've got an overall eat well feel well be well attitude and a whole community of folks out there bursting at the seams to share what they know and that are passionate about educating others. It's pretty cool all the resources that are out there and how accessible it all is. Really what a difference it makes. People can be pretty darn smart and helpful when they want to be! Since September I've become pretty well transitioned into the vegan way of life, aside from the occasional egg and small amounts of trace-milk chocolate mistakes (guilt free and just get back on that horse baby);) small steps to liberation as a wise friend once said. Anyway, I'm having a good time with it, learning tons by doing, and am all the more happy and healthy for it. I feel lighter and more clear and  aware of what's going inside my body. More aware in general, really. Having fun getting creative with dishes and dressings and drinks and "harvesting" my baby sprouts from home (Perhaps unleashing my most carnivorous mother eat baby moments at this time...nom nom nom)

I'm also getting really into essential oils and learning about healing with 100% natural alternatives to prescriptions, pills and other forms of the pharmaceutical based healthcare we've got going on now. It never ceases to amaze me all that mother earth provides. Just as with the food, learning and experiencing the oils-- noticing the definite differences they make in my life, has opened me up into another realm of natural self healing exploration. I feel blessed to have had them enter my life, and truly believe in all they can do. I'm enjoying learning as well as sharing what I know with others, and am training to co-teach my first class on Wednesday!

As far as money goes, since that's a biggie people ask me, it's tight but not a dire issue. Not letting it stress me out while also constantly looking to generate some mo'. I'm working some hours at Anna's store  www.MalikaInternationalBoutique.com, which more or less ends up as an exchange for rent as well as some other necessities. Johanna (a different woman, who I assist sometimes) is hopefully getting more funding for her raw product line and will be able to continue to pay me for help with production. We did a whirlwind overnight session last Wednesday where we churned out burger bites, cracker dough, and truffles (all raw, organic, and delicious!) at a health food store in Oneanta. Her book, also something I'm helping with is *fingers crossed* going to be coming out soon and will be filled with recipes and explantations to help people (you?) creatively incorporate more raw foods into their diet.

Team Johanna's Real Foods-- Action Shots to Come

Now I'll backtrack a bit through November. I was so happy to be able to take a trip back to Minnesota to celebrate Thanksgiving with the family, catch up with some friends, and grab a couple of things to make my move a little cozier, not to mention warmer. (I was definitely lacking on the winter gear). It was so great to enjoy MN and to reconnect with the familiar: Got down on some Legion bingo, caught Rockin' for Damo at the Eagles, tried and failed to "learn" that reoccurring lesson about beer and whiskey sours, gave a presentation about South America to Mrs. Bowhall's 8th grade class (man, when did 8 graders get so small??) held baby Elsie (and baby Lucie;)), was asked to be in girlfriend's wedding, volunteered at the Kaddatz Art Gallery, went shopping in my closet, played lots of cards with family, slept in with the cat, cuddled with our dog, and slapped my bro on the back a time or two. It was the perfect amount of time to spend there and I'm so thankful that we were able to make it happen. 

And a little further back yet...
Early in November I did a 10-day Silent Vipassana meditation course in eastern Canada. I was almost unable to go because of the mass transit shutdowns in NYC due to Hurricane Sandy, but my lovely awesome Anna graciously let me borrow her car. The people in my life, I swear. Anyways, the meditation experience deserves a blog all to itself so I won't divulge too much here, although there is indeed much to share. The 10 days serve as a 'crash course' introduction into the Vipassana technique of meditation. Eradicating old stores of suffering, and learning how to avoid creating more suffering by realizing the truth of anitcha-the fact that all arises and passes away--experiencing it at a personal level--through the framework of your body, and applying that into your daily life. Like I said, I'll write more about it at a later date--much to say and it's easy to caught up in it's intellectualization. I can say that the experience was a very positive one, and that I would recommend it to anyone serious about working and uncovering greater truth. I am very grateful I had the opportunity to take 10 days out of my life to devote to such intense meditation and introspection, to really live on the charity of others and experience life as a non religious nun, I realize this is certainly not something everyone is able to do. I by no means emerged 'enlightened' but the seed of dhamma was planted in my heart and in those 10 days I took myself a couple of tiny steps on the path towards truth. Somes better than none, right? 

The gears are slowing, eye sockets burning...how are you feeling? As a matter of fact, How was your day? Your life? Your last two months? It'd be impossible to cover it all wouldn't it? as theres always something more. Fast slow and constant with big small invisible happenings happening always. What oh what shall December bring us?

Thank you for your time and attention, for reading my words and playing catch up with me and what's going on from my end. I appreciate it greatly and look forward to gettin back into the swing and continuing to share with whoever cares to listen. Big thumbs up to you. If you ever feel compelled to comment you just have to click the title of the post.

Until next time
Love and Bless

Kaitlin 

*If you are interested in learning more about the uses of essential oils there is a great website called www.everythingessential.me  It's not put out by any specific company and has a TON of information, advice, and testimonials. I do order wholesale from a company called doTerra and so if at some point down the road you decide you want to look into trying out some oils for yourself, definitely contact me directly (kaitmoen@gmail.com or facebook) and I can help you order the best of the best for less, or consult with you on a specific issue and do my best to help you out.

urge, desire, and follow through.

SUNDAY/MONDAY

the energy I am writing this with now is unlike other blog attempts before. maybe it's because I finally have earbuds and am blasting the Hives through my eardrums and into my bloodstream. Or maybe it's the half drunk jar of dark green smoothie sitting next to me. I'm banking on combination and either way I can't stop dancing back and forth in a perpetual head-bob shoulder shimmer body shake. some good old rock and roll in the coffee shop sunday din of activity. man,  what a smattering of folk round these parts, almost like always. caffiene hungry and walking gathering talking typing writing facebookchecking dressed to the teeth and laughing.

it's a beautiful day here and of the good crisp nature, a proper fall. been raining like crazy lately and every day has been wet wet wet and although wonderful a bit gloom and doom just the same. so hurrah for sunshine and sweaters and breathing in cold air. hurrah for fall and for feeling home. home. Hmmm. an interesting concept. i'm in the process of nestling in, building community, getting my feet on solid ground...trying like hell to keep that arrow pointed straight without letting those worryin' shakes sway my pace. I found a place to live for $200 bucks a month starting the 15th, and can choose to pay weekly if I choose to fly the coop for a bit. Yes, apparantly that can happen. Good things DO happen, a lot and often. I can't tell you how much I'm reeeally looking forward to moving into a "place of my own" although right now that definition still involves living with a woman and her 15 year old son...at least I've got a closet and drawers, some surface space and a bed to myself! Bring it on baby, I'm so ready.

I was planning on getting out of dodge for a while...going to Vermont of Maine or even  Halifax...the further the better, really, was the idea. Just take that train and go. Write. Observe. Exist. God how romantic and adventuresome and brilliant that idea sounds to me even now. Right?Yeah, my pockets are empty, but the banks not quite, and there's magic whereever you travel with an open heart.....people to meet things to see...give me that open road freedom or give me....Saratoga Springs, NY?

Alas, WAS was the key word there, and in the meantime opportunities have presented themselves that say stay in such a way I just couldn't (or didn't really want to, rather) resist. So I'll be working with Jonathan Greene the rest of this month helping the Community Shift organization make a final push with a project they've got cookin'. He's a rock solid guy, with a great wholsome-values first attitude and I'm really happy to help out with something that has so much downright goodness behind it. Also, his other projects involve lots of writing and who knows where I may be able to jump on in the 'future'.

And yes, mom and dad, I will be getting paid for work this time around.

Now that that decision has been made I'm really trying to feel excited and mantain enthusiasm bout stickin with it, stickin around...stickin stickin...in there. Which is not such a hard thing to do, really. It's just when that travel game starts to look so appetizing, and that restless leg kicks in, with the feeling like there are changin leaves falling everywhere, and the view from this little city in my little rooms just a little too small. Gimme mountains and air and openness. Gimme caves and woods and treetops. Gimme Fiction or preferably somethin, real tanglible and colorful wanna sink my teeth in and explode from the inside out kinda happenins.

But I gota stop and ask myself:  Kaitlin

When is it Adventure and when is it Escape? Wandering to Wander, in a continual exile. Loving and leaving and starting all again.

Is this a fear of commitment in not such a good disguise? Fear of "settling down"  before the snow flies and the work starts and things start feeling serious? Is it that well known useless desire that seems to lurk beneath every decision of movement--if I'm here I'm not there. I'm missing out, I should go. I should be out, there, that big world in all those places I haven't seen, all those teachers I gota meet and those others I've gota teach. Someway. Through living, gota keep moving. Onward Onward Onward...

I'm being patient and I'm practicing the art of the follow through. I'm getting wiley, but I'm not giving in. Because ya know, really, things are pretty god damn great around here. Although things are definitely a bit overwhelming and stressful at times, it feels like to so blatantly ignore the way the universe is aligning things for me here would be like spitting directly in the face of a gift horse. Turning a blind eye, poo-pooing the big cheese, take your pick. I'm not moving by train or bus or  plane...catching rides from strangers or walking  the tops of mountains, but I am moving Onward. Inward. I know this. Every day progressing and exisiting more and more in the heart of the moment. The pulsing rhythm of life and truth.. and the catchy musical stylings of local upstate gems like Party Boat and Le Rubb. ..

Things will all straighten out soon, mentally, physically, happily, surely. I've gota believe it because it's true. I DO feel happy now and often, clarity and confidence in this path, these choices. A natural rightness with breath. I do I do I do. Especially when I look into his eyes or pump my fists victorious in a finished bit of poetry.  Keep on truckin, enjoyin, livin. Be Here Now, savoring the little adventures in every day and those moments we defy 'reality' and see this life for what it is. Completely and utterly wonderfull.

Relax, Breathe, Embrace...
Laugh until you're almost dying
Then keep on going,
Teary eyed and joyful through this Life
In all its Dirt and Wonders.

Thank You

xo KM

full of cake--birthday ponderings.

the downtown is bustling, even for a sunday. people drinking coffee or laughing over a table of mamosas and beer. brunch in the Springs. reading books and newspapers and pouring over laptops under awnings. so many big dogs here I think, peering at the half wolf crouched under a table and the mastiff like a statue a few feet away. people look up and smile, sipping soup and spreading butter on bagels. the line at Uncommon Grounds is ungodly. I walk past a pair of buskers howling that classic busker tune, and like a rolling stone I keep on rolling on with no real direction except a reasonable cup of coffee and a relaxing place to write.

I've got my bag of 'tools' and 'just in cases' slung over a shoulder and breathe it all in. Fall air is my air. I feel alive and crisp and partly sunny. Thinking, mildly. "Maybe I could get use to you, place. No guarantees, but if you keep this up we may have to talk about bringing things to the next level. I have some suspicions I'd like to investigate. Do you have Answers? I am a spinning spiral of Questions. I'm not sure, but it appears you've got some ins and outs I want to see about, some things to teach and lessons to learn... This may just mean I stick around a little longer to try and put a finger on just what is you're made of...Underneath all this surface.
I'm intrigued, How will you Unfold?"

This morning I woke up to a smiling Johanna carrying her "deliciously famous" raw food cake into the top bunk of my bed, glowing with all 23 colored candles and accompanied by the german rendition of a happy birthday song, entitled...something in german...and that signifies "good health, much luck and bountiful joyfulness on all your life's paths." The sleeping Soraya wakes to chime in from down below and I can't help but be slightly-momentarily-overcome. (No, I don't cry at everything..just almost at many things...) It was beautifully thoughtful and special to be taken in as a real member of the family, and included in this cake-for-breakfast birthday tradition. I ate until I was almost sick, took a shower, and crawled back into bed, happy and content to be drifting in and out of much needed sleep for the next few hours. Pleased with life and my being here and the genuine connection that seems to be passing through the household, I slept with a smile on my face and dreams of hula hoops and sugar plums dancing through my head...

On my "real" birthday, Saturday, I took a roadtrip with a lovely new-to-my-life someone an hour north into Adirondack Park. Here they've designed an 'EXTREME!' course in the tree tops full of lots of 'EXTREME!' obstacles to play on...a true jungle gym in the canopy... monkey bars 65 feet off the ground, leaps of faith into huge hanging nets...balancing on tight ropes and wobbly logs and acrobat bars and the whole nine yards. Needless to say, it was a lot of fun, not to mention a bit of a workout and a good old fashioned screaming laughing dose of adrenaline to get the blood pumping and endorphins flowing.

Probably one of the best parts of the day, however, was the driving there and back...past the endless array of multicolored tree tops, the mighty Adirondacks standing calmly and solidly in the distance, the slowly shifting clouds pregnant and playing with the idea of pouring. "Josh from New York" looking like some rugged model with one hand on my knee and the other on the wheel, glancing over every now and then with a silent smile and a nod that says so much. I am joyful and I am still and feel like I could go on driving like this forever, letting the music wash over me and the scenery pass me by. An intense love of the road and for people and the divinity of nature...a calming this is what I do this for. A feeling of rightness with the world in a moment floods me--a victorious stopping of time,  in-tuneness with oneness and awareness of greatness and all this guru sounding ness-ness that makes me feel I'm truly enjoying the "bountiful joy on all my life's paths." I inhale. We move forward and continue to arrive at exactly where we need to be. I complete my breath and start again.

It is true I feel fortunate to have made such solid connections "in time" for my birthday and that although I missed my home in good old Minnesota I was made to feel loved and at ease in my new home along this portion of the road. I am also so grateful to all of you that reached out to me in your own way and dropped a line--a phonecall, a letter, a message, a text, and even those one-liner facebook acknowledgements go a long way. Honestly, it means A LOT to know you're out there and that I'm crossing your mind from time to time. You are all in my heart and in my thoughts more than you know.

Thank you so much for reading, and for all the positive feedback. Its good to be heard.

Love and blessings,
Until next time

XO Kaitlin